


Lols in FB

by Dragona15



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Facebook, M/M, this is just random chatting between friends and lovers, tons of derp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 22:47:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7593217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragona15/pseuds/Dragona15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When talking to each other through facebook becomes part of their daily lives. And changing nicknames.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lols in FB

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!  
> This is just random stuff that I wrote as tids and bits. It'll feel very incomplete as there is no actual plot to follow. Consider this a oneshot with a very, very open ending with unresolved matters :P  
> Also forgive the lack of a better text formatting *bows* I hope you enjoy

The madness started one day when Akiteru finds out that his baby brother FINALLY has a new friend. He checks this new friend, just to be sure. Akiteru immediately doesn’t like the look of that thug like haired freak. He blocks Kuroo’s account on Tsukki’s facebook and deletes it, then leaves the crime scene. 

Tsukki is a little confused at first, thinking that maybe he did that out of spite sometime ago, because Kuroo is just that annoying, but after the 3rd time, he begins to suspect…  
But Tsukki only noticed that Kuroo’s account was gone, cuz Kuroo pestered Tadashi to tell Tsukki to unblock him. 

Of course, this was tricky to do, because Tadashi questioned Kuroo first, like a good overprotective friend.

Meanwhile Akiteru uses a fake account and harasses Kuroo with death threats. Kuroo is pissed beyond life, of course. 

-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kuroo T.: omg tsukki i am so pissed off rn, look at this!!!  
[Copy-Pasted by Kuroo]  
Khal_Volleyball: I know where you live and I will shove a cactus up your asshole.  
Kuroo T.: omfg just WHAT DID I DO TO U!!!! help me understand you hater  
Khal_Volleyball: If you ever so much hurt him, I will never forgive you. Ever.  
Kuroo T.: WHO OMFG WHO???  
[end of Copy-Paste]

-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kuroo eventually blocks the hater but they just keep coming back with slight changes to their nickname. Kuroo gets his revenge by sending dick pics. And keep Kei updated on the process.  
Kei he notices his brother even more pissier than ever, especially when he shouts “OMFG” next door at seeing dick pics.

-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kuroo T.: i just sent that fucker a pic of my dick (; P) let’s see how he likes it.

-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kei easily puts 2 + 2 together. And hides. He hides because Kuroo just showed his brother his dick. Kei eventually snaps and just kicks Akiteru like “OMG STOP I KNOW YOU’RE KHAL_VOLLEYBALL”  
Akiteru is super surprised like “OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW????????”  
Kei says he is going to explain the whole situation to Kuroo. Akiteru realises that he messed up (again). Kei mutters “Lame.” and goes back to his computer.

-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kuroo T.: hey hey, tsukki lol guess what i convinced bokuto to send that fucker dick pics too HAHAHAH  
Kuroo T.: we are going to troll that bitch so SO hard1!!1  
Kuroo T.: I’m going to moon that hater, too LOL im taking pics of my asshole rn  
Tsukishima Kei: How original. Btw Khal_Volleyball is actually my brother.  
-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kei would just rather get over with it. The following messages are a very shocked and flabbergasted Kuroo just accusing Tsukki of trying to troll him or something.  
-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Tsukishima Kei: I’m serious. The hater is actually my brother being stupid and lame. Stop sending pictures of your asshole.  
Kuroo T.: Oh MY SHIT GOD WHAT  
-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kei just closes the laptop and hides under the covers. Away from the world. Kuroo gives up after trying to get an answer out of Kei and turns to Akiteru.

-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

Kuroo T. has started a conversation with Tsukishima Akiteru: OMFG YOU FUCKER HOW COULD YOU NOW KEI IS MAD AT ME BECAUSE OF YOU  
Tsukishima Akiteru: XCUSE YOU??? HE’S MAD AT ME BECAUSE OF YOU

Bokuto K. has been added to the conversation

Bokuto K.: Bro! Holy shit1

Akaashi Keiji has been added to the conversation: 

Akaashi Keiji: Why am I here? I do not want to see dick pics, Bokuto-san.  
Tsukishima Akiteru: OMFG HOW MANY OF YOU IS OUT THERE CORRUPTING MY SWEET BROTHER???!!?

Akaashi Keiji has left the conversation

Bokuto Koutarou: Awkward….. Tsukkis bro saw my dick…. kuroo its ur fault  
Bokuto Kouratou: AKAAAAAAAAAAASHE COME BACK  
Tsukishima Akiteru kicked Bokuto Koutarou out of the conversation  
Kuroo T.: omg RUDE he was my broness  
Tsukishima Akiteru: broness??  
Kuroo T.: witness bro the witness  
Kuroo T.: and i am still PISSED OFF tsukki wont talk to me let’s meet right now you fucker ME AND YOU FIGHT  
Tsukishima Akiteru: he wont talk to YOU??? THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT IN THE FIRST PLACE…………………….. but it backfired  
Kuroo T.: wait wat  
Tsukishima Akiteru: i dont like drug dealers, and you’re obviously a serial killer and no way i am letting you near my brother  
Kuroo T.: ….????????? WHAAAAAT

Tsukishima Kei has joined the conversation

Kuroo T.: omg TSUKKIIIIIIIIII have you come to save me????  
Tsukishima Akiteru: Omg Kei Kei! Dino Bei! have you forgiven me???  
Tsukishima Kei: I hate both of you.

Tsukishima Kei has left the conversation

Kuroo T.: Dino Bei????????  
Kuroo T.: NO TSUKKI  
Tsukishima Akiteru: NO BABY BRO  
-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-

On the other side Tsukki is typing a furious rant at Akaashi.

 

\-----------------------------------  
Conversation between Kuroo T. and Tsukishima Akiteru

 

Kuroo T. has changed Tsukishima Akiteru nickname to The Evil Brother

Kuroo T.: so…… those nicknames. can I use them? they are cute as heck!  
The Evil Brother: Really????  
The Evil Brother: absolutely not!

Tsukishima Akiteru has changed Kuroo T. nickname to Some Old Pervert Man

Tsukishima Akiteru has removed his own nickname.

Some Old Pervert Man: I must applaud your originality.  
Some Old Pervert Man.: wow you guys are really family

Kuroo T. has removed his own nickname.

Tsukishima Akiteru: of course we are duh  
Kuroo T.: woooooow even the sass is the same  
Tsukishima Akiteru: ugh  
Kuroo T. : is this Kei speaking?  
Tsukishima Akiteru: no and I still dislike you. by a lot.  
Kuroo T.: I’m still dating him. It’s his choice and he did a good choice in dating a hot guy like me  
Tsukishima Akiteru:……… die  
Kuroo T.: I can’t. I’m going to be with Tsukki forever. I can’t die!  
Tsukishima Akiteru: That’s really corny…..  
Kuroo T.: he loves it  
Tsukishima Akiteru: i don’t think my baby brother enjoys an ego as big as a dinosaur  
Kuroo T.: but he fell overaptor me  
Kuroo T.: HA  
Tsukishima Akiteru: ………….. good one…  
Kuroo T.: But I am this kind, so I will ask you for permission  
Kuroo T.: Can I date your brother?  
Tsukishima Akiteru: You can’t just ask that! There are rituals. There are formalities to be had first!!  
Kuroo T.: ohoho so that’s not a no. Good, good. I forgive you for all those hater comments way back  
Tsukishima Akiteru: Wait, let me ask you many times you and Kei dated by then  
Kuroo T.: uhhhmmm tons?? idk man we do all kinds of stuff together ; )  
Tsukishima Akiteru: WHAT KIND OF STUFF  
Kuroo T.: man, that’ll be weird… i mean sure you already saw my dick but…… i can’t tell you more  
Tsukishima Akiteru: OMFG

\---------------------------------  
On the other side Tsukki is complaining to Akaashi because his big brother just came asking if he was a virgin or not.  
\------------------------------  
Conversation between Bokuto K. and Kuroo T.

Bokuto: Bro, lololololol Tsukki is mad as fuck, he is talking to me now, because Akaashi did the joke “Nope i’m not a virgin, i’m an aeries sign”  
Kuroo: broooo  
Brokuto: brooooo ikr  
Kuroo: holy shit screenshot it i wanna see it omg  
Bokuto: I’ll ask akaashi lololol Kei’s bro is demanding all details on your sex scenes  
Kuroo: hahahahha good luck on that. we haven’t had any sex yet and even if we did >; D tsukki won’t tell a thing  
Bokuto: i wish i could see it omg  
Kuroo: That’d be weird Bro… I dun think tsukki would let u see us having sex ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Bokuto: lololol baka  
Bokuto: btw tsukki asked me to tell you how much he hates you rn  
Kuroo: tell him i love you too  
Bokuto: oh gee bro, I cant tell tsukki that you love me. the poor thing  
Kuroo: boge

 

\--------------------------------

Kei didn't speak to anyone for the next 3 weeks….. except Akaashi and Bokuto. ‘Cuz you can't talk with Akaashi without a Bokuto. And sometimes Akaashi is away.  
-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Kei: ugh...  
Bokuto: sup?  
Kei: just the worst experience ever.  
Bokuto: hm hm  
Kei: Like, I envy those guys who don't have siblings  
Bokuto: It would get lonely  
Kei: I'm used to it  
Bokuto: but you love them  
Kei: is this Bokuto-san? I feel like i'm talking to tadashi  
Bokuto: maybe I am? Hoooooooot  
Kei: nope, it's just Bokuto-san being uncharacteristically wise for once.  
Bokuto: Owls are the symbol of wisdom, Tsukki! It comes natural to me  
Kei: you're not an owl, Bokuto-san  
.......  
Kei: Bokuto-san?  
\----------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Akaashi Keiji.

Akaashi Keiji: Tsukishima-san,, what did you do?  
Tsukishima Kei: Akaashi-san?  
Akaashi Keiji: Whatever you told Bokuto, undo it now.  
Tsukishima Kei: ugh

\---------------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Kei: Bokuto-san? I take it back. You are an owl. A really owl-look-alike type of deal.  
Bokuto: Hoot?  
Kei: yes, are you happy now?  
Bokuto: TSUKKI! HEART  
Kei: ugh, forget what I said

 

\---------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Akaashi Keiji.

Tsukishima Kei: how do you do it? Honestly, I can't type anything to Bokuto-san without him swinging moods on me  
Akaashi Keiji: welcome to my hell.  
Tsukishima Kei: no really, how do you do it?  
Akaashi Keiji: I just ignore him. He bounces back after a while.  
Tsukishima Kei: that only works with you, Akaashi-san. Bokuto never replies back to me.  
Akaashi Keiji: right. Hm, maybe just say nice things?  
Tsukishima Kei: I don't do nice  
Akaashi Keiji: I honestly don't know, Tsukishima-san. I never had to do anything to get Bokuto's attention.  
Tsukishima Kei: .... really? Not once?  
Akaashi Keiji: nope. Why? Is Bokuto-san ignoring you? He didn't tell me anything about it.  
Tsukishima Kei: That's what I was afraid of. He always tells you what he does like some duckling kid. And I may have said some hurtful things.  
Akaashi Keiji: Tsukishima-san. What. Did. You. Do?  
Tsukishima Kei: hold on, I am asking Kuroo-san if he has any idea  
Akaashi Keiji: Tsukishima-san, tell me. Bokuto is not replying to me, now.  
Tsukishima Kei: fine... I told Bokuto to grow up and stop being an airhead and stop bothering people. I didn't mean it, and I was just blowing out steam, and I did it on the wrong person.  
Akaashi Keiji: Oh god, Tsukishima-san! I expected this from Kuroo-san, but from you?  
Tsukishima Kei: I know, that is why I am trying to know how to apologise, Akaashi-san. He won't reply to me at all!  
Akaashi Keiji: Bokuto won't reply to me now all thanks to you!  
Tsukishima Kei: Akaashi-san, I am sorry. Honest

-º--º--º--º--º--º--º--º-  
Kuroo has created a chat for all fours: 

Kuroo: What is wrong with Brokuto omfg, Tsukki told me he's not replying and lo and behold HE IS NOT REPLYING HES DEAD  
Akaashi Keiji: Kuroo-san calm down  
Kuroo: HE'S DEAD HE'S FUCKING DEAD LIKE DAICHI WAS  
Tsukishima Kei: Kuroo, stop! This is serious!  
Bokuto: HEY HEY HEY  
everyone: BOKUTO!  
Bokuto: oh maaaaaaan i am so sorry, like parents demanding attention, wow look at all those unread messages  
Bokuto: give me a second to just read them  
Akaashi Keiji: NO DO NOT READ THEM DO NOT SCROLL UP  
Bokuto: uh.... okay. I won't akaashi  
Tsukishima Kei: yes, don't scroll up. ever  
Akaashi Keiji: listen to me, bokuto-san. Never ever scroll up. You read me?  
Bokuto: okay, geez. Saves me the trouble lol, I hate reading  
Kuroo: bro  
Bokuto: broooo  
Kuroo: I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD  
Bokuto: LIKE DAICHI  
Kuroo: DEAD

Tsukishima Kei left the conversation.

Akaashi Keiji: ugh

 

\---------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Kei: Bokuto-san?  
Bokuto: sup?  
Kei: I am sorry.  
Bokuto: Oh, Kei. I get it. Kuroo can be such an asshat sometimes. Want me to beat him up for you?  
Kei: no, I'll do it myself. Thanks.  
Bokuto: TSUKKI!

\-------------------------------

 

Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Kei: Bokuto-san?  
Bokuto: sup?  
Kei: Hey.  
Bokuto: Hey hey hey! What can I do for you Tsukki?  
Kei: Nothing.  
Bokuto: Lol ok, check out this video of this owl i found!  
Kei: that is a cute owl.  
Bokuto: ikr??? It's like so lively and alert and cute!!!!!!! Ahhh I want an owl so bad TSUKKIIII  
Kei: then why dont you get one?  
Bokuto: ahhh, parents won't let me. They say I dont have time for pets.... mueh  
Kei: It's kinda true... Owls require time and probably have a lot of needs.  
Bokuto: I could totally take care of an owl  
Kei: I sincerely doubt it.  
Bokuto: heeeeeeey what's that supposed to mean.  
Kei: Nothing. Just that pets are time consuming.  
Bokuto: have you ever had a pet before tsukki?  
Kei: Yeah. Once.  
Bokuto: TSUKKIIIII tell ME ABOUt IT  
Kei: well, he's kinda old, and he's got black fur.  
Bokuto: oh, so it's a cat  
Kei: yes. and he's really stupid. sometimes I just want to hit him..  
Bokuto: ouch, don't hate on animals. Ain't their fault, tsukki  
Kei: I guess...but it just gets so frustrating, you know? You except one thing in return. Just one. thing  
Bokuto: uh?  
Kei: how hard is it to just remember me and not just think about himself for once?  
Bokuto: Oh.  
Kei: I'm sorry, Bokuto... I am rambling.  
Bokuto: no, no. I am listening.  
Kei: thanks.  
Bokuto: so. continue  
Kei: right. it's really stupid, really. he just wants to own everything without even giving anything back. that's how he makes me feel. I'm just there for decoration or something.  
Bokuto: that's a cat's nature, right? but i heard they are always there for you. always present. That's nice. At least i think so.  
Kei: yeah, you are right on that part. I just wish he. tried.  
Bokuto: Have you told him?  
Kei: No.  
Bokuto: Tell him. He can be pretty dense sometimes. Hahahah and that's coming from me : P  
Kei: lol  
kei: yeah.  
Bokuto: hoot hoot  
Kei: Koutarou?  
Bokuto: yo  
Kei: thanks.

\-------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Akaashi Keiji.

Kei: My first time sucked. it was not sexy, there was a lot of elbows and knees in the wrong places, drool felt weird, and it was nothing like fanfiction describes it. I didn't come right away because I was too fucking nervous and when I did come it was not satisfying at all. I think the only thing worth all of it was the cuddling afterwards  
Akaashi: so why did you keep trying?  
Kei: ......... to get better  
Akaashi: get better?  
Kei:.... at pleasing him. Shut up

 

\--------------------------  
Conversation between Kuroo T. and Bokuto K.

TheGrumpyCat: omggg BRO BO  
CheckOWLTheseGuns: BROOOO KU  
TheGrumpyCat: omfg i finally did it and omfg it was like  
CheckOWLTheseGuns: dont leave me HANGING here bro tell me HOW WAS THE SEX OMFG  
TheGrumpyCat:................. shit man

Kuroo T. changed Bokuto K.’s nickname to DoYouEvenLiftBro

DoYouEvenLiftBro: shit man? that's it???  
TheGrumpyCat: I mean, it was OK I loved it i always wanted to do it with tsukki but uh it was... the first time i guess????????  
DoYouEvenLiftBro: come on! There's gotta be more than just that!! Give me the juicy parts!

Bokuto K. changed Kuroo T.’s nickname to JEALOUSCAT

JEALOUSCAT: Uh, I don't think you really wanna know…

Kuroo T. changed Bokuto K.’s nickname to STUPIDOWL

STUPIDOWL: bro, did it suck that bad???  
JEALOUSCAT: IT DIDNT SUCK OK  
STUPIDOWL: bro  
JEALOUSCAT: fine, it sucked. Well, Tsukki sucked. A lot LOL

Kuroo T. changed his own nickname to DoingTsukki

Bokuto K. changed his own nickname to SaveTSUKKI2016

SaveTSUKKI2016: omggggggg BRO  
DoingTsukki: omggg I can still feel his mouth on my dick!  
SaveTSUKKI2016: brooo  
DoingTsukki: he used teeth.... i think i'm gonna hurt for a while...  
SaveTSUKKI2016: oh bro....

 

\-----------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Kuroo T.

Kei: ok the second time was remotely better by 1%  
Tetsu: how is it just 1%??? It was like WAYY BETTER, i wanna do it again!  
Kei: Ugh, stop. it was still embarassing, but we managed to make it a bit more pleasurable. By 1%  
Tetsu: ugh yourself. I'm adding 00 on that 1% LOL get it? Tell me you get it  
Kei: I'll pretend I didn't  
Tetsu: TsUKKI  
Tetsu: 00  
Tetsu: 1  
Tetsu: boing boing boing  
Tetsu: OH COME ON ITS FUNNY

Tsukishima Kei has blocked this user  
\--------------------------------------

Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Kei: Bokuto-san.  
Bokuto: hoot!  
Kei: Your name plus owl makes a BOwl of owls.  
Bokuto: JajajFJAKKDJF TSUKKI WHAT omgbthats brilliant whatHajajf  
Kei: Calm down Koutarou.... I lost a bet and had to say this terrible pun..  
Bokuto: omg you should lose more bets this pun just made up for my shitty day odndnfjs  
Kei: I’m glad we have something in common. Shitty days. I know those since I have plenty of them.  
Bokuto: Oh ur not alone on that Tsukki! Like everyday is just blargh and getting up and hear ur parentz yap when ur not ready to face the world yet, then u have 2 deal wit stupid colleagues n teachers and count EVERY single minute until vb practice. insert ugh here.  
Kei: That’s…. pretty much the summary of my life… except the vb practice. I am not as excited about it as you are Koutarou.  
Bokuto: no need 2 lie to me Tsukki!! we know you dig sports and especially volleyball!  
Kei: wow I know you are in serious mode because you just wrote volleyball and not vb.  
Bokuto: ugh I swear you and Tetsu are freaking twins with your sarcastic comebacks  
Kei: shut up  
Bokuto: buahhahahaj I can hear you blush allllll the way from here Tsukki!  
Kei: must you add an exclamation point by my nickname everytime, Bokuto-san!?? And you’re wrong. I am not blushing.  
Bokuto: TSUKKI11!!!!!1!1!+!1!@@  
Kei: oh god… dont make it a habit of inserting all of the symbols known to man besides my nickname  
Bokuto: lol naah takes too much time tsukki! ;)  
Kei: good…  
Bokuto: I just wish our time wasnt so limited tsukkiiiiiii! We could hang out and play on weekends more. 3rd GYM BRO  
Kei: even if we did have time, there was no way I could afford travel expenses just for some playdates. And quit that 3rd gym thing. it was one time.  
Bokuto: omg Id totally come 2 u to make it possible. im sure akaashi would agree to it  
Bokuto: AND 3RD GYM DID NOT HAPPEN JUST ONCE OMFG  
Kei: It did and I dont think Akaashi-san would enjoy so many travels  
Bokuto: lol u dont know Akaashi he is a slut for playdates lmao and omggggg how can you be so cold about our gig??? 3rd GYM!!!!!!  
Kei: Sorry if im not excited about your little personal non-existing club. And its only natural that i dont know you guys. We only chat via fb  
Bokuto: goddamit tsukki 3rd gym was the best shit to happen to me this year i mean i love my vb team WE ROCK 1ST PLACE YO but the dynamics between the 4 of us… bru… mindblowing…  
Kei: thanks. i think  
Bokuto: Im not done yet! i heard we can commission artists or something and i could totally ask them to make us a logo. Then 3rd gym would be freaking official. Think they charge too much for it?  
Kei: I wouldn’t know as I have no plans on wasting money over something that doesnt exist, Bokuto-san.  
Bokuto: omfg just FOR THAT im gonna get our logo on a tee and order 5 of them and then u cant say NO  
Kei: I can refuse gifts if I want to. And who is the 5th shirt for?  
Bokuto: backup shirt for myself.  
Kei: I dont even want to know..  
Bokuto: but you need to know Tsukki! you need to know your own ot4!!  
Kei: what?  
Bokuto: u know its a thing ppl use on tumblr. ot4 like 4 people who are bff! Like us!!  
Kei: I dont think that is the correct definition of an ot4 Bokuto-san. And why is Akaashi-san letting you use Tumblr??  
Bokuto: Akaashi is my follower and I am his. Do u have tumblr too Kei?? Follow meee!!!  
Kei: No I dont. And don’t even bother asking. that website is pure evil and confusing  
Bokuto: Ugh fineeee I will find it myself. I bet its moon related lol.  
Kei: you will never find it bokuto-san~  
Bokuto: Im checking Kuroos followers. You gotta be in there somehow!  
Kei: funny of you for thinking I even bother following Tetsu for his cat posts  
Bokuto: then how do u know his blog is all about cat posts hmmmm HMMMMM  
Kei: ugh… 

 

\--------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Bokuto: TSUKKIIII OMG LOOK AT THIS OWL PIC  
Kei: Kou.... its 5 in the morning. Fuck.  
Bokuto: omg did I wake u. sowwy  
Bokuto: but seriously look at that owl!!!  
Kei: I did and its just a baby owl.  
Bokuto: ITS SO CUTEEX  
Kei: Koutarou-san I am trying to sleep..  
Bokuto: Soooo what you plan to do after sleep?  
Kei: Oh gee, let me check my busy busy agenda. How about school in about 2 hours?  
Bokuto: its amazing how u type so fast tsukki  
Bokuto: So what r u doing after school??  
Kei: Vb practice, same as you....  
Bokuto: oh cool. and after that?  
Kei: Go to sleep and stop texting me Bokuto-san.  
Bokuto: I will. i like how u always add our names after ur rude comments lol  
Kei: I meant for you to go to sleep -now- Bokuto-san.  
Bokuto: I will! Just gimme a moment...  
Kei: you cant sleep?  
Bokuto: check out this owl vid i found  
Kei: Kou. Answer me please.  
Bokuto: u deadpan 2 much geez  
Kei: why arent you bothering Akaashi-san?  
Bokuto: he wont reply 2 m Tsukki... and kuroo bro is definitely snoring too loud to hear his phone  
Kei: I see...  
Bokuto: ur MY ONLY SALVATION TSUKKIIII  
Kei: do you want to talk?  
Bokuto: I thought we were???  
Kei: No i mean talk through Skype.  
Bokuto: Ohhhhh. Uh no srry. I might wake up my parents..  
Kei: alright. I dont know how to help you there  
Bokuto. but u are tsukki. im feeling better now  
Kei: orly?  
Bokuto: OMFGIGOSH U JUST USED AN OWL MEME  
Bokuto: TSssiuukkioii  
Kei: stop smashing your keyboard, gosh!  
Bokuto: omg i screenshoted this omg Kuroo is gonna flip u can use memes and slang  
Kei: is ‘orly’ really that much of a big deal?  
Bokuto: Yooooosh it means you are human after all : D  
Kei: you clearly are a lot more relaxed if ur picking on me now, Bokuto-san. Goodnight  
Bokuto: lol fine fine im sorry Tsukki.  
Bokuto: and thanks man.. i needed this.  
Kei: ..anytime kou

 

\-------------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Kuroo T.

Kei bei: Tetsu dont be late k? I dont want to be alone for when Bokuto-san arrives at the Owl sanctuary.  
Tetsu: Im on my way tsukki babe <3  
Kei bei: hurry… i think i see Bokuto-san approaching. Oh gd he is wearing an owl mosaic patterned shirt  
Tetsu: buahhahaha for reals??? omfg is he wearing his pj pants too??  
Kei bei: thankfully its just a tasteless normal shirt… no pajamas. I think Akaashi told him not to wear it out  
Tetsu: aw maan that would have been hilarious to watch!!  
Kei bei: such a good friend you are  
Tetsu: only the best and most kind  
Kei bei: your sarcasm truly rivals my own  
Tetsu: thats why we are so married tsukki ahshf  
Kei bei: We are not married, Kuroo-san.  
Tetsu: ow sorry.. i touched a sensitive topic. But dont worry  
Kei bei: dont  
Tetsu: I’ll make it happen, Kei.  
Kei bei: oh god, you even capitalized letters and used punctuations  
Tetsu: only for you darling :D  
Kei bei: ugh, stop. its hard enough to deal with an idiot next to me. Bokuto-san is getting impatient. Hurry!!  
Kei bei: BROOO OMFG JUST GIT HERR ALREADY!!!!  
Tetsu: hey bro. Just give me 5 more minutes. and give tsukki his phone back before he rips u a new one lolo  
Kei bei: Ugh, Bokuto-san is pouting now cuz he cant handle 5 whole minutes.  
Kuroo: well it aint my fault that train rides takes a while. and show me some love here, i just came from the dentist I WAS SO SCARED OMG  
Kei bei: awww do you want your Kei to buy you some treats for big boy Tetsurou?  
Tetsu: oh baby i love it when you talk dirty to me~ spank me!  
Ke bei: uuugh not the time and place to do this

\-----------------------------------------  
Conversation between Kuroo T. and Bokuto K.

SwagOwl: omggg Kuroo brooo what did u do??  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): I did the moon. ba dum tiiiish  
SwagOwl: LMAO ok good one but seriously what did u do 2 akaashi omfg he is super pissed off  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): Uh, whatever it was, I didn’t do it.  
SwagOwl: u know I know ur lying when u use capitals and punctuation rite?  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): Ugh!  
SwagOwl: Welp, I can’t help u there bro! SORRY!  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): what are u apologising 4? Bro?  
\-----------------------------------------

Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Kuroo T.

Tsukki: Kuroo-san.  
Kuroo: Yo!  
Tsukki: I’m n my room.  
Kuroo: Oh, kay~ what r u wearing~ Tsukki babe?  
Tsukki: Nothing.  
Kuroo: oh ho ho?? Tsukki, are you teasing me?  
Tsukki: No. I have a finger in me. I’m thinking about you.  
Kuroo: ksjhgdftuskkI!  
Kuroo: Omg for reals?????  
Tsukki: It’s really deep in me, Kuroo-san  
Kuroo: oh god! Don’t do this to me rn Tsukki babe! I’m in the fucking train!!  
Tsukki: I don’t care. I’m really hot and my fingers feel so, so good.  
Kuroo: Oh god! Tsukki, couldn’t you have told me sooner??? I’d FLY over there!!  
Tsukki: I think I’m ready for my dildo, Kuroo-san  
Kuroo: Wait WHAT  
Tsukki: ahh, it’s so thick. And it’s going in so easily. Kuroo-san, you really taught me well.  
Kuroo: TSUKKI Oh GOD!!  
Tsukki: What’s wrong, Tesu~? Talk dirty to me. I’m really horny..  
Kuroo: Omfg, that is IT I’M COMING OVER WAIT FOR ME BABE  
Tsukki: Kuroo-san. Ignore all of those messages just now!!!!!!!!!  
Kuroo: Babe?  
Tsukki: Those messages are all fake! Ignore them right now! Ugh, I just leave my phone for a second, and the next thing I know, Bokuto-shitty-san is messing with it.  
Kuroo:.............  
Tsukki: Great, now you’re dead. Good. Go join your fucking bro-friend in hell.  
\----------------------------------------

Conversation between Kuroo T. and Bokuto K.

CatMan: OMFG BRO WHAT IS THIS FOR REAL WAS TSUKKI JUST U A MOMENT AGO  
OwlMan: IM SO SORRY AKAASHI MADE ME DO IT BRO IM SORRY  
CatMan: WHY OMFG WHY I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU RIGHT NOW  
OwlMan: IM SORRY KUROO IM SO SO SORRY BUT U PISSED AKAASHI REALLY BADLY IM SORRY  
CatMan: OMFG DID AKAASHI SERIOUSLY MADE YOU USE TSUKKI’S PHONE TO GET BACK AT M??????  
OwlMan: IM SORRY I FAILED AS A BRO IM SORRY

\------------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Kuroo T. and Akaashi Keiji

Akaashi Keiji changed Kuroo T.’s nickname to RememberThoseExpensiveShoes

RememberThoseExpensiveShoes: Omfg Akaashi!!!!! AKAASHIII AKAKAKAKKASHII  
Keiji: Kuroo-san.  
RememberThoseExpensiveShoes: OMFG DID YOU JUST SERIOUSLY TOLD BOKUTO TO JUST PRETEND TO BE TSUKKI BEING ALL HORNY N SLUTTY  
Keiji: Yes.

Kuroo T. changed his own nickname to Kuroo.

Kuroo: wow. Ok yeah I uh I don’t even. Tsukki is gonna kill you.  
Keiji: It will be worth it.  
Kuroo: OMFG I SAID I WAS SORRY FOR DROPPING PAINT ON YOUR SHOES  
Keiji: They were really expensive. And new.  
Kuroo: OMFG IM SPORTING THE BIGGEST BONER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND U JUST WHAT  
Keiji: It was nice talking to you, Kuroo-san. I’m going to block you now.

\--------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Bokuto K. and Akaashi Keiji.

Keiji: Bokuto-san?  
Bokuto: yes?  
Keiji: I think I did a really stupid thing..  
Bokuto: You do stupid things all the time lololololol. Don’t worry, babe, Tsukki still thinks it was me who had the brilliant idea. I’ll take the burn for u!!!!!!!!  
Keiji: Tsukishima-san will find out eventually….. Maybe I did go overboard with this bad joke…  
Bokuto: PfffffffffffffffTTTTTTT AkAAAASHEEEEH omfg this was actually good bro!  
Keiji: Explain, please.  
Bokuto: Like, Kei n Kuroo are always arguing and being lil shy virgin bitches to each other lololol.  
Keiji: That is true… your point being?  
Bokuto: Soooo this little stunt might get them to drop their shy before-wedding nerves  
Keiji: It might… and it might just tear them apart.  
Bokuto: What’s done is done and if they get mad at us, they will sulk then get over it. I know it, Akaashi!!  
Keiji: Bokuto-san.  
Bokuto: don’t worry don’t worry!  
Keiji: You used Tsukishima’s first name.  
Bokuto: yeah  
Keiji: You never do that to me.  
Bokuto: Oh, really?  
Keiji: Yeah.  
Bokuto: OMG SUDDEN REALIZATION  
Keiji: right.  
Bokuto: you and Kei have the same 3 letters in ur name omgogmgomgogm Kei and Kei WOO  
Keiji:......

 

\------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Kou: omg Kei get this!!!!!  
Kei: Shut up. I am beyond pissed with you, right now! FUCK OFF

Tsukishima Kei changed Bokuto K.’s nickname to ASSHOLE

ASSHOLE: but it’s a really cool thing!! AND I SAID I WAS SORRY I HAD A GOOD REASON

Bokuto K. changed Tsukishima Kei’s nickname to PLSFORGIVEMEKEI

PLSFORGIVEMEKEI: I highly doubt it! And what could this ‘good reason’ possibly be, Bokuto-fucking-san?! You just pretended to be me and sent terrible messages to my boyfriend.

Tsukishima Kei changed his own nickname to Kei.

ASSHOLE: They weren’t horrible and you, as Kuroo’s boyfriend, should know that by now. Kuroo has a kink for lewd n dirty.  
Kei:.... I shouldn’t be surprised. But it still didn’t change the fact that you just did what you did. And you won’t even tell me why.  
ASSHOLE: Sooooooooooo, can I still tell you the cool thing?  
Kei: Only if you tell me why you did that, Kou.  
ASSHOLE: Yosh! So I just realized that your name and Akaashi’s name start the same way. KEI! It’s fucking amazing!  
Kei: You. Just. Figured. That. out. Now?  
ASSHOLE: Yeah, while talking to him, pfffffffft. I know, I’m slow…  
Kei: that’s not a surprise to me.

Tsukishima Kei changed Bokuto K.’s nickname to Kou.

Kou: You’re a lot calmer now. Wow, I was expecting you to block me after that stunt.  
Kei: I know why you did it, now.  
Kou: Oh shit, Akaashi is speaking to you? Hey, he has a very good reason! DOn’t Hate On HIM  
Kei: I am angry at Akaashi-san, yes. But…. Kuroo-san broke a lot of my headphones. Expensive ones. So, I kind of understand where Akaashi-san is coming from.  
Kou: wow…  
Kou: Let’s start a Hate Kuroo Club!  
Kei: What?  
Kou: Yeah. Come to think of it, that asshat also broke stuff I owned. The dude has no consideration whatsoever!!!  
Kei: That… actually sounds like a good idea. It would be like an intervention to get him to stop being so reckless with our stuff.  
Kou: Omg, Akaashi agrees!! It’s official!!  
Kei: Kou……. Please don’t make T-shirts about it….

 

\---------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Akaashi Keiji.

Kei: Ugh, Bokuto-san is planning t-shirts again. He said it’s to rile Kuroo further and to make things official and serious.  
Keiji: Well, he does like to go through things properly, even if they are plain dumb.  
Kei: Oh god, he’s asking which color our childish ‘club’ should be.  
Keiji: Pick a color. If we both say the same color, Bokuto-san will leave us alone a lot quicker.  
Kei: Idk, black.  
Keiji: Fine by me.  
Kei: Bokuto-san disagrees on the black choice.  
Keiji: Just tell him to pick a color. I did the same.  
Kei: Done and done. He chose blue, because it’s a boy’s color and we are all boys….. Lame.  
Keiji: ugh…

\------------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Kuroo T.

Kuroo: Oi, tsukki? Are you there? Answer me, I didn’t do anything wrong this time…  
Tsukki: Yeah. For once in humanity’s history, you didn’t do anything. Yet.  
Kuroo: Such faith you have in me Tsukki!!  
Tsukki: I am still pissed off.  
Kuroo: I can imagine. That damn bastard… when I get my hands on him.  
Tsukki: Kuroo-san.  
Kuroo: Kuroo or Tetsurou, geez. Drop the san already!  
Tsukki: It annoys you, so I won’t, Kuroo-san~  
Kuroo: wow, such sass  
Tsukki: I want to ask you something.  
Kuroo: Yeah? Shoot.  
Tsukki: Did you like it?  
Kuroo: Uh?  
Tsukki: the messages. That Bokuto-san sent you. Did you like them?  
Kuroo: Uhhh, I would if they were REAL, which they weren’t!! I am really angry right now…  
Tsukki: Do you want to try it sometime?  
Kuroo: Bitchkuto, I swear if this is you again!  
Tsukki: Do you want to or not Kuroo-san?  
Kuroo: Yeah, I’d love to, but how do I know this is the real Tsukki!?  
Tsukki: I’ll call you, so you know it’s really me. There is no way that Bokuto-san can copy my voice.  
Kuroo: Oh, nice tsukki!!

\-------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto K.

Akaashi: Bokuto-san?  
Bokuto: Oya?  
Akaashi: Why does Tsukishima calls you ‘Kou’?  
Bokuto: Uh? Oh, I guess it just happened? I call him Kei so he calls me Kou to get back at me, but I don’t mind, soooooooo the joke’s on him~  
Akaashi: I see.  
Bokuto: Why?  
Akaashi: No reason. Just curious. You never give me nicknames.  
Bokuto: I SO DO!  
Akaashi: Name one.  
Bokuto: Aka.  
Akaashi: You never use that.  
Bokuto: I wanted to use Kei, short for Keiji, but then Tsukki came along~ I can’t call the both of you Kei. It’d be confusing…  
Akaashi: I see.  
Bokuto: So, you want me to call you Aka?  
Akaashi: No, that’s terrible and it’s basically the name of a color…  
Bokuto: Hey, don’t be ashamed of your own name, jeez. I used to hate Bo, but I got used to it.  
Akaashi: Oh really? Only Kuroo-san calls you Bo.  
Bokuto: He did it to rile me up, man. It sounds lame like booo-hoooo cry baby!  
Akaashi: Did he said that to you?  
Bokuto: Nah, it’s just what Bo reminds me of, pffft.  
Akaashi: I like the sound of it, but I like the sound of Kou more…  
Bokuto: You can use it all you want, Keiji!  
Akaashi: I know.

\------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Kuroo T. and Akaashi Keiji.

Keiji: Kuroo-san.  
Kuroo: What?  
Keiji: I know you’re mad at me, at the moment, but I would like to ask you something.  
Kuroo: I don’t wanna hear it.  
Keiji: We’re both mad at each other, so we’re even.  
Kuroo: Actually, I’m not. Your little bitchy stunt worked out for me. But I am pissed that you used Bokuto like that.  
Keiji: It was Bokuto who offered.  
Kuroo: And you still let him.  
Keiji: Bokuto is not angry at me. And he told me the same thing. That my failed attempt at a prank would actually work for both you and Tsukishima-san.  
Kuroo: Whatever, what did you want to ask me?  
Keiji: How do you get someone to stop calling a certain nickname?  
Kuroo: Uh, you don’t?  
Keiji: There must be a way.  
Kuroo: I don’t even follow…..  
Keiji: It’s just… nevermind.  
Kuroo: Ore???? Hey, now I’m curious!!  
Kuroo: Akaashi?

\-----------------------------------------------  
Conversation between Kuroo T. and Bokuto K.

MeowMeowDude: Bro?  
TheOwlDude: OMFG DID YOU FORGIVE ME OMG BRO I LOVE YOU NOTHING REALLY GAY ABOUT IT  
MeowMeowDude: NOOOOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY  
TheOwlDude: WITH BEING GAY  
MeowMeowDude: Gei  
TheOwlDude: Totally! Bromance!  
MeowMeowDude: Yooosh! Bokuto, bro, best man, fill me in on something  
TheOwlDude: Anything 4 u omg im so happeh!  
MeowMeowDude: What is Akaashi up to now? He came asking me the weirdest shit.  
TheOwlDude: Oh, man….. Shit…… i’m split between bro and bro again…. Oh boy…  
MeowMeowDude: Hey, you said ANYTHING 4 ME  
TheOwlDude: I KNOW GOSH I KNOW BUT HOW DO I DECIDE BETWEEN U AND AKAASHI?????  
MeowMeowDude: Wait, he told you to not tell me what this nickname stuff is really about?  
TheOwlDude: Uh, idk man. I’m confused, too… he has been acting weird about me not calling him by nicknames??  
MeowMeowDude: wait, so who does he wants to stop calling him nicknames?  
TheOwlDude: Idk man, I’m guessing you???  
MeowMeowDude: not me, I just write akaashi all the time when addressing to him.  
TheOwlDude: Then who?  
MeowMeowDude: hmmm  
TheOwlDude: Bro?  
TheOwlDude: bro if you figured it out TELL ME  
TheOwlDude: BRO

\-------------------------------  
Conversation between Tsukishima Kei and Bokuto K.

Kei: Bokuto-san?  
Kou: Yeeeeeeessss  
Kei: This is is stupid, but I’m going to ask nonetheless.  
Kou: Oh? Ohoho?  
Kei: Why a dildo?  
Kou: Uh wut? Gasp Tsukkki!!! Asking the important questions in life!  
Kei: Ugh, I mean why did you use a dildo when you were pretending to be me?  
Kou: dude, srly Kuroo goes nuts over that kinda stuff!!  
Kei: Somehow I don’t find it disturbing that you know this about my own boyfriend.  
Kou: brooo tsukki! I’ll tell u everything I know, u know that. Kuroo will die from all this un-tsukki-like stuff lololol  
Kou: plus we are always browsing weird shit on the nets. Including dildongs  
Kei: Still wouldn’t that just give it away that I was a fake?  
Kou: Pffffft When I said that Kuroo bro can be dense sometimes, I meant it  
Kei: right.. so he would get tricked a thousand times over  
Kou: when ur thinking with ur dick, yeah  
Kei: gross  
Kou: call his dick ‘pretty’ and he will go CRAZY and PISSED  
Kei: wat  
Kou: Dude I mean it lmao! If u wanna ever piss him off, just call his dick pretty and dont explain. He will go nuts!  
Kei: But doesn’t he like compliments?  
Kou: not when its the pretty word. Idk its just his bad trigger word. Pretty.  
Kei: Hm  
Kou: Kei omg dont abuse of this power!! TSUKKI11!!  
Kei: Kind of hard not to when I can control Tetsu this much! You just sold your bro-man out, Bokuto-san.  
Kou: omg TSUKKI&@($*$(@¥ I TRUSTED UUUUU  
Kei: It was nice talking to you, Bokuto Koutarou~  
Kou: NOOOuuuuuu….. dead

\----------------------------------  
the end?


End file.
